Jamie Fink Photography

RYT-200 BLOG

Self-love

I'd like to start this post with how I was feeling yesterday: blocked. The negative energy coursing through my body was extreme, and my mind felt like the wires were crossed. I left work early, went home to sleep for two hours before waking up and diving right into my practice. It was nice out, so I grabbed my mat and went outside, looking for a way to unravel the knots. I had seen a ton of posts of yogis using Camel Pose as a way of opening up, so I gave it a try.

From my Instagram:  "I never really understood the importance of poses like Camel. Since I started practicing at CorePower, where they incorporate it into almost every class, I’m understanding why it’s so necessary: it allows for vulnerability to promote more healing. . I woke up this morning a ball of anxiety. I had to sit through a two hour presentation, and something like this might not be a huge deal to a lot of people, but for me, being in a room that you’re not allowed to leave is my worst nightmare. It turned out fine, like it normally does, but the tone for the day was nevertheless set (something I really need to work on). Around 1, I felt nauseous and closed off. My mind and body were telling me I needed to leave, so I listened. I spent the afternoon sleeping and working on opening my heart to all of my anxieties rather than pretend they don’t exist. Self love is the best love."

From my Instagram:

"I never really understood the importance of poses like Camel. Since I started practicing at CorePower, where they incorporate it into almost every class, I’m understanding why it’s so necessary: it allows for vulnerability to promote more healing.
.
I woke up this morning a ball of anxiety. I had to sit through a two hour presentation, and something like this might not be a huge deal to a lot of people, but for me, being in a room that you’re not allowed to leave is my worst nightmare. It turned out fine, like it normally does, but the tone for the day was nevertheless set (something I really need to work on). Around 1, I felt nauseous and closed off. My mind and body were telling me I needed to leave, so I listened. I spent the afternoon sleeping and working on opening my heart to all of my anxieties rather than pretend they don’t exist. Self love is the best love."

I didn't feel it right away. Whatever soul-opening and healing realizations these people were feeling, I couldn't get there. Rested but still negative, I left for CorePower. I settled into a C2 at 5:30 followed by a C1 at 7 and concentrated all my energy on my intention of self-love and self-care.

I did everything right. I flowed, I concentrated, I breathed, I relaxed my muscles and embraced the present moment. And when I got home, my muscles felt like jello but brain was still blocked. I felt like I wanted to cry and sleep and run and scream. I talked it out with Dan, accepted my mood and decided I would take the day as a loss, and fell asleep.

Fast forward to this morning, and I'm a different person. I am light. I am open. I am stretched out, calm, and welcoming. My blood no longer feels thick and cloudy; it feels like it's a part of me again.

The past 24 hours have been so important for my journey to becoming a teacher. Lessons learned:

  • My body might not feel effects of yoga right away, but can feel the flow in the days that follow a practice. Even after taking two hours of classes, the results don't have to be immediate.
  • If I'm patient, and if I embrace the body and mind's need for self-care, I can start to experience the benefits of yoga on a much deeper level.

I know I needed some self-love yesterday, and today, because I gave myself that time, I can breathe again.